Why hello, for all of you that actually read this (only spell check), I forgot about this for a while. Not a big deal. That means to be my phrase, "it's not a big deal." So, do we want an update on what is going on now, or a summary of the last 5 months? Let's go with a summary. I gained 20 pounds back. Sucks, I know. I've been working a little at it to try and reverse it, not that hard though. Oh, well. Not that worried, I will just work my ass of in Track. That's right, I didn't try out for basketball... Neither did Mckeena. I probably should have, but oh well. I'll just work twice as hard in Track. The only thing I worry about is my wrist. This summer I injured it some how and it's still not quiet right.
Now for boy drama. Where do I start... Over the summer I started talking to Trevor more. We hung out at the Relay For Life and a little at Home Coming, but he was a jerk. After that I started my factious illusion that I was over him. That landed me into a nasty situation with Zach. Thinking back now, that should have been something I blogged about. Maybe it would have got me to think about more. I wish I wouldn't have done any of that. It makes me sick to think about now. It's almost to the point where it sickens me to be around Zach. He's just so vulgar and manipulative. Hopefully, when the new semester starts on Monday, it will help things. We went way too far, way too fast. It was strange because we really talked and he mellowed out and softened up, that's not the part that I would take back. I just hate what we did to get there. I also hate how strong I have to be just to be around him. He rags on my intelligence and I can't take that. I think that is what is making me resent him so much. Well, after Zach I found a guy that the complete oppisite it just about every way. He was calm, mellow, shy, introverted, nice, thoughtful, suck up, nerd, and had a job & car. I pushed that relationship too much. Also something I should I took a step back and thought about. John was a shy guy. I got him to ask me out, and about two weeks later I got him to kiss me. Many sound typical relationship, until you factor in that after a week of dating John, Trevor weaseled his way in. He told me that he had made a mistake breaking up with me. He said that he had felt this way for around a year and was scared to tell me... GREAT NEWS! If I hadn't just started dating John after pushing so hard for that relationship and talking to him so long before I wouldn't just break up with him and jump into my past. I dated him for a little over a month. He was a very sweet guy. He payed for everything, except my smoothie the day I broke up with him. John, just like Jon, got me an nice piece of jewelry after only dating a month. He gave me a pretty necklace. I gave it back when we broke up, he text me later saying I didn't have to do that but what's done is done. Three days after I broke up with John; Adam, Nessa, Trev, and me went to the movies. Trev agreed to come with us before he even knew I was single. Strange, I know. We reconnected that night, almost like when we were innocent freshman in 2009. It felt like a dream. I had had so many just like that night. After that we hung out a few more times until Trev got sick. Then died, just kidding. That sounded like what would have been coming in a depressing fiction novel. That's not what's happening though. He's sick right now, and when he's sick he won't go anywhere near me. But we hung out on MLK day, and he kissed me forehead. I started thinking too much this week, and I talked to Zach about it on Tuesday (Now known as Zach Day) and he was very negative about it, but I always ignore his opinion. He doesn't think I should go back to an ex-boyfriend. He says all the same problems will be there this time that were there last time. I think he's right, but that we will be mature enough to talk about them this time. So to work on being more mature, I simply asked Trev if he was giving the cold shoulder. He reassured me that he isn't, that he hasn't felt well, and he want to act 'normal' at school. I told him 'normal' is lame, and that I took it as cold shoulder because we don't talk. His reasoning was because one have one class together and we don't sit together in that class. In my opinion though, I think he would at least say hi to me in that class while we stand around at the end of class. Or he can make eye contact with me if catch eyes. I don't know. I'm known for expecting too much out of a guy. Oh, well. Well see. We have the same lunch, so he has no excuse now :P He's been busy the last few weekends and he's still on antibiotics, so he doesn't like to hang out when he's sick because he's paranoid about getting me sick. It feels like a dream or at some times a chick flick. I don't want to push anything. At times I feel like it's so fragile, that if I blink for too long or sleep too long that I will look around and it will all have been a dream or see every thing shattered.
Well that's about all I have to say about that. I'm sure I could add much more, but I don't want to go into detail. I'm working on that. Not telling everyone everything. I'm doing some what good on this. I guess.
Well good night. Oh, and my new thing to do is to send a quote to my 1o people every night. I've been doing it since October.
Night,
Nat
