Depressing

Wow, I'm depressing. No wonder no one comments. (or that fact that no one reads it haha) I was reading my old blog and I was much more up beat. I guess this family of mine is just constantly pulling me in all directions and I get spread too thin some days. I have to be the peace makers, the one who puts the baby to bed. Well, I guess he's not a baby anymore. I find myself calling him Boogs, short for boogers, instead of Babe. 

Billy Billoli turned my world upside down. I get a pit in the bottom of my stomach just thinking about it. Still enjoying my good mood. It's just taring me apart. I don't know if I should leave the past in the past, or pick up some pieces. Oh, I want to pick up the pieces so bad. I guess this is something I used to talk to Michael Bice about, but I don't get on AIM anymore so I don't talk to him. I don't really want to. Like my mom said, "You don't really want to go though telling everyone again." And I don't. Ah, how I long for Billy to get back to me. I swear that boy! I just can't keep it out of my mind. I'm going to get crushed. I just know it, and yet... 

Crazy woman who is taring down her walls of protection,

Natalie

(I accidentally posted this to my old one! I went to re-read it while I was editing and changing things and it wasn't there! I found it thought. Haha!)