I Hate It

Okay so my new years resolution was to be nicer. I've failed. I've been the biggest bitch ever that last week. I feel pretty bad because I snapped at anything. I decided today that I've just been made at myself and that's why I'm taking my anger out on other people. I've been slipping back to my old ways, with being mean and the bigger thing, eating.

I upset over my weight and it is bugging me all the time. I have to get back to my no pop, and work outs on my own. I need to get back my drive, my mojo. I've been seeing my self loose it more and more. I need to stop, take a step back and start going again on the right path. I believe in myself and I have my support.

My blogger be my witness I want to work towards being at the most 150 by June. I used to make millions of goal to myself and such but I really need to work at this for me. I need to be positive again and believe in myself to do anything I want to do.

Psssp! Don't tell don't want to jinx it but I started talking to someone again and yeah :)

~Nat

Here and Now

Wow... I really did it. I never would have thought that I would ACTUALLY take a real step. I've always planned out ways I'm was going to change myself and my life, but now... I really am. Now all I have to do is work my ass off so this all doesn't blow up in my face. If this goes sour, boy it will suck. Especially now that I've let myself think of my future with it. This could crush me. I feel great about it though. I can't wait. I've made it through two so far, but I still have many more of those firsts to go.

I'm being very vague about this I know. I promise you that by next month this time I will make it very clear what I'm talking about. Let's hope I can do it. I know I can. I have the support I need, and more that I will ask for if I feel I need it.