New Templete

Blogger has done a great job with there new layouts. I love it . It was very user friendly and they are actually backgrounds I like. Now I don't have to import my layouts. I also don't have to redo my gadgets every time I redo my template.

I had planned on writing a long post but this computer does not seem to be agreeing with my and lagging very bad. So I think I have just update you all. (haha)

My mystery man is no longer a mystery. Billy Billoli let everyone know at lunch. Now I get funny looks when I talk to him from them. As well a Makeena not shutting up about it all other times of the day,

We had to run around town on Friday. Oh there, I closed two tabs and now the computer's fine. Anyway, it was the longest thing ever my god. My calves killed. I think it's from the type of heel my new shoes have. So I stretched whenever we stopped. We had to slow down to a walk so many times because of two girls in our group of 6 couldn't keep up because of this we came in last. We did get pop-sickles when we got back to the school. We have pictures Monday and our first meet is Tuesday. Right now I am looking up shot-put technique videos. haha. Some are just people doing there glide. Some look like mine, which are never good.

It is now 2 AM and my internet is uncapped until 7 AM. Yay.

I went to Nessa's yesterday and we went to ZAP Zone. It was amazing I kicked butt. I came in 2nd, 1st, and 7th. I was fun to be over and Nessa's on not be constantly reminded of my problems. My idiotic mother did not relize that I did actully want to stay another night and was having Nessa ask. So tonight once we got home and I was getting the computer from her she asked me, "So did you really want to stay the night again?" I was livid. I made a few smart remarks and walked out of her room. So here I sit on my bed with the laptop on my lap with a knot in the back of my throat holding back the tears that I have made a habit of crying each night. During the day I rarely feel the need to cry but as soon as the lights are off in my room my breath catches and I let out many silent sobs to God.

Well that's all for tonight.

Nat

Sorry it decied to send in 11 different posts.

Well I'm torn between old and new. My mystery man, which is not much of a mystery anymore, and my weakness...him. I let myself fall again the other day. My guard completly down, as if I hadn't worked the last year on building it up... I can only imagine how pathetic I looked. Not only did I let my guard down, I spilt my guts. No, not about having feelings for him but why my dad is the way he is... He made a remark and I imagine he got a different answer then he was expecting... Billy found out who my mystery man is today. It's not like I hide it. My mother and brother are trying to guess who I like, they've said his name twice, but I told them no. They don't suspect it at all. I also told them I'm not going to tell them when they're right.

I can hear water falling from the roof left from the rain earlier today. I love it when it rains, it's my favorite thing. One day it would be interesting to kiss in the rain. I can see myself in the rain, all romantic-like, but I picture who I'm with.

I wonder if Billy would be able to do some digging for me this time, unlike last time. He was so reluntant to find out who it was. I wonder if he wants to hook us up just as bad, probably.

My home life is falling to pieces for a 3rd time. This time I'm not just playing along. I'm not encouraging it this time, a new approch. I know it won't fix it but I need a new way to deal with it myself. It's hurting me to. It kills me when I think how I'm stronger then my father.

Well I've said enough tonight,
ohhhh thunder I love spring.
Nat

Track tomorrow afterschool... Ahh.

I tawnted Billy with me liking a mystery man today. It was fun. He couln't guess who it was, and really I don't want to think about it.

I'm gonna die tomorrow... Ahh. Night.
~Nat