Depressing?

I looked back at some of my old posts... I'm a very depressing person. Maybe I only looked at posts that at certain tags, but still. I guess I only really post when I'm sad. When I'm happy there's no need to post.

I woke up this morning and something was wrong. I could feel it. The second my brother got upstairs he solved it. My dad was still at the house. On a Monday. When he has a job.  Still it's a temp job, and he makes more on unemployment, but still. It pinched my heart. I still feel a little upset about it. We're up north now, so it will allow my mom to straighten out what she need to straighten out. Why can't life just be plain and simple. Ugh. It just takes too much out of me to thing about.

Bye

A Long Update

I planned on writing a really long rant. I did, really. After I had to log in though, I lost it. I no longer felt like it.

So, quite outline. Still like the same person, which sucks ass. I don't want to go to basketball, but my mom says we paid the money I'm going. Therefore, I have to suffer through it. I don't even know if I plan on trying out this year. Maybe I can join some work out class. I could get a job instead of a sport in the fall and winter. Then only do Track in the spring. I love track. It's great. It also makes basketball look like a lot of work... and confusion. Anyway that's a ways away.

I wish I could be up north... It's killing me that Nessa is up there sleeping in my bed. Ugh. It drives me up a wall that I'm here fretting about basketball and she's up there tubing without me. It just bothers me. That has always been my thing to stay up there with GG. I guess she needs a chance too, but still. All she does it whine about missing Adam and my brother. "Brandon doesn't know what no means." That got under my skin. Also, when she put it as her status that, "I'm going to cry to get everything I want." The post got me pretty fired up. I even commented on it... But I deleted it. I didn't want to start any fights.

On a better note, I get to go back up north after Brian's graduation party. Band camp was postponed, so now I can go back up north sooner. My mom says I'm not going to band camp if it's the week she has off of work. If they schedule it then she says I'm just not going. Works for me. They can't require us to go if they don't give us a fair amount of time before.

Also, my dad got a job through a Temp Agency. His unemployment ran out and they didn't know if they were going to renew it. So, now he has a temp job.

This turned out be some what lengthy after all. I tried to not repeat myself much. To make it more flowing. I put a lot of fragments in there too. Opps.

Nat

School

So school has started. I have to say it's the strangest year ever. Its just natural yet awkward. It may be because I'm dragging my heals and denying it in my head that school has started. I'm finally expecting that facts.

I keep getting asked who I like... I don't know. I like Cody a little bit. He doesn't like me though. He still flirts with me though online. But I know he doesn't like me. Erin says I got hit on today. By JT. It was stand, I was waiting for someone to laugh and pay him $5. Then with KJ that was funny. It shut Brandon (I think thats his name) up real fast.

I ran a mile today in 8:55. It beat Adam's time but he has a stuffed up nose so he did worse then he would normally. I did shitty though. I had to stop and walk. I think it was more of a mental thing. I thought about it way to much and payed to much attention to my breathing. So I was like 'I need to stop' 'I can't make it'. I like that Ruel tell us were going good. He's an awesome teacher.

My family is driving me insane. Dad loosing his job sucks. He's home ALL the time. And we already budded heads when he was working. Now we're always going at it. And I have to just be like 'whatever. I'm not having this conversation'.

There's just something quick for me to vent.

Summer Melting Away To Fall

This was so not the summer I expected. In May I was ready to get up here, hell I was ready to be up here in February. I'm up here now and I've been up here and I'm making memories that I will savor for this long year to come. I have a feeling its going to crash 'n' burn if this fall doesn't go well, and then I will have a whole new life...

Umbrellas

Umbrellas are for protecting your from the rain. They shield you from the fat drops falling from the sky. Even from the tiny like drops that smash against it like marbles on a hard would floor. But what happens when the umbrella turns inside out and isn't as strong, do you put it away and go fully unprotected? When if the wind catches it and it blows away, and you are forced to go unprotected?

Why Not One More

Okay, so I messed up the coding or something on The Lunch Table... now I can't fix it. I always have a custom layout on and now I can't get it to have two column, so I figured instead of having it look messed up I would just make a new know one. Its summer so I decided I will have a fresh start and use this one over the summer. Maybe in the fall I will go back to the old one or just make another one... Who knows?

I'm going to try and customs the layout, well they call it a template here.

ttyl